Hello, guys! My absence in writing is mainly caused by work and me being way too focused on my real life a.k.a I am way too lazy to write.
Just kidding. I am actually busy.
So... let's just start with this. These past few days, so many things have happened to me. Or maybe there aren't much, but I still feel the burden on my shoulder. Probably because I easily become tired currently. And then, because of that, I feel way too tired (and I seem pretty lazy meanwhile I actually do not have the energy anymore) to talk to people or just socialize. I mean, I of course have to socialize with people in my workplace, but after I get home, I always become tired and I just feel like ignoring everyone who talks to me.
That does not exclude my boyfriend, who (you already know) is one of the most caring and kindest person I have ever met. We usually catch up with everything in our daily lives at evening or afternoon, and he is just so cheerful and happy whereas I am the completely opposite. And I know he has quite a lot to do because he has to go to class from Monday to Thursday plus sometimes his friends just ask him out for a hangout and such. Still, with the activities mentioned below, he still has the energy to just talk to me and ask how my day was. Meanwhile I just lazily answer his questions and most of the time we have together, I spent it by sleeping. Such a waste, isn't it? Moreover considering that we don't meet everyday, plus he's going to have a part time job that will keep him busy and of course, we don't have much time to meet like we used to before.
My point is, lately I have been ignoring people and selfishly stated that I did all that because I was so damn tired and I just want everyone to shut up and sleep, meanwhile everyone around me has been trying their best to communicate with me. Everyone has their own problems and daily activities but they don't bitch about it, at least they do not really show it to people whom they are talking to. And I just realized how bad I was misbehaving. I know that my inner circle would understand me if I told them everything but that is just what makes it worse. They have the heart to understand, although I haven't been doing much good towards them.
So I want to say, please do not think that you are alone. That you are the only one who does the bigger work so it is okay for you to become tired and ignore people off. Of course you have the rights to feel that, but that does not mean you can keep telling them off meanwhile they have been being nice to you. You are not the only one who has problems. Each of us does have at least one. We have our own concerns but that does not mean we can keep the distance between us and our surroundings forever. When someone is nice to you, it is okay to not being as nice as them but at least you don't have to shut yourself off and just get away with it. Just put it like this; they have been so kind to keep the relationship with you, so what's the hardest part to just repay their kindness?
I know some of it don't make sense. I am just trying my best to remind you all so not repeat the same mistake like I did. If you cannot spread the positive vibes, at least try not to spread the bad ones.
Until next time.
Just kidding. I am actually busy.
So... let's just start with this. These past few days, so many things have happened to me. Or maybe there aren't much, but I still feel the burden on my shoulder. Probably because I easily become tired currently. And then, because of that, I feel way too tired (and I seem pretty lazy meanwhile I actually do not have the energy anymore) to talk to people or just socialize. I mean, I of course have to socialize with people in my workplace, but after I get home, I always become tired and I just feel like ignoring everyone who talks to me.
That does not exclude my boyfriend, who (you already know) is one of the most caring and kindest person I have ever met. We usually catch up with everything in our daily lives at evening or afternoon, and he is just so cheerful and happy whereas I am the completely opposite. And I know he has quite a lot to do because he has to go to class from Monday to Thursday plus sometimes his friends just ask him out for a hangout and such. Still, with the activities mentioned below, he still has the energy to just talk to me and ask how my day was. Meanwhile I just lazily answer his questions and most of the time we have together, I spent it by sleeping. Such a waste, isn't it? Moreover considering that we don't meet everyday, plus he's going to have a part time job that will keep him busy and of course, we don't have much time to meet like we used to before.
My point is, lately I have been ignoring people and selfishly stated that I did all that because I was so damn tired and I just want everyone to shut up and sleep, meanwhile everyone around me has been trying their best to communicate with me. Everyone has their own problems and daily activities but they don't bitch about it, at least they do not really show it to people whom they are talking to. And I just realized how bad I was misbehaving. I know that my inner circle would understand me if I told them everything but that is just what makes it worse. They have the heart to understand, although I haven't been doing much good towards them.
So I want to say, please do not think that you are alone. That you are the only one who does the bigger work so it is okay for you to become tired and ignore people off. Of course you have the rights to feel that, but that does not mean you can keep telling them off meanwhile they have been being nice to you. You are not the only one who has problems. Each of us does have at least one. We have our own concerns but that does not mean we can keep the distance between us and our surroundings forever. When someone is nice to you, it is okay to not being as nice as them but at least you don't have to shut yourself off and just get away with it. Just put it like this; they have been so kind to keep the relationship with you, so what's the hardest part to just repay their kindness?
I know some of it don't make sense. I am just trying my best to remind you all so not repeat the same mistake like I did. If you cannot spread the positive vibes, at least try not to spread the bad ones.
Until next time.
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